We all have goals of some kind––to be the best parent, husband, or wife, rise in your position at work, have the best grade point average, travel to a must-see destination, etc. The question is, do you know what it takes to achieve your goals?
The following are 5 tips to help you get a step closer to achieving your goals:
1. Have a Mantra
For us to manage our anxiety and get out of our own way, a positive, accurate mantra is a mighty force to have on our side. I’m not talking about your “meditation mantra” here, but the mantra that is your inner monologue.
Do you have something in mind? Is there a mantra that calms and motivates you at the same time?
We all need a good, positive, and accurate inner monologue to keep us calm and to help reinforce positive feelings within ourselves. Who else will help us foster our capability to be our best selves in the difficult moments of life? Some of us have supportive people in our lives who try to help guide us, but at the end of the day, what we tell ourselves in the critical moments always seems to overshadow everything else. What we tell ourselves is very critical to our success.
2. Be Aware of Unhelpful Thoughts and Beliefs
As previously mentioned, what we tell ourselves over and over tends to shift from an immediate thought to a core belief. And in case you did not realize, what we believe is a significant driving force of our actions. Automatic thoughts surface as a result of a stressful or negative event/incident. Some are not always aware of the thoughts, rather they notice the emotional response.
Some automatic responses include:
“I’m so stupid.”
“I don’t have any control over this.”
“What is wrong with me?”
Furthermore, core beliefs represent ideas you hold about yourself, others, as well as the world around you. Core beliefs are not always recognized easily, but the language is different for thoughts and beliefs. Core beliefs are often all or nothing—black or white.
Unhealthy core beliefs may sound like:
“I don’t deserve any of this.”
“I’m worthless and unlovable.”
“I’m a bad person.”
If you continue to have negative or pessimistic views of the world around you, you will behave and respond as such. On the other hand, practicing positive self-talk and reframing can help you work through thoughts rather than seeing them in black and white.
Examples of positive and realistic self-talk include:
“I’m proud of myself for trying.”
“I’ve never done this before, though I now have an opportunity to learn and grow.”
“I am capable, strong, and resilient because...”
3. Set SMART goals
Expectations and goals are not the same. Likewise, just because you have goals in mind, does not mean they are realistic and achievable. Take a minute to take that in—do you have goals or are they expectations?
Often individuals and couples come to their first session with expectations of themselves, their partner, and their journey. However, I set out to explore and identify goals to make sure we are on track to achieve them. Expectations do not define how you get to where you need to—but effective goals do.
SMART goals stand for the following elements that make up an effective goal:
4. Re-evaluate Your Journey
Often, people create goals and have a plan, but forget to check back and make sure they are still on track to achieving the goal. If you check in with yourself sooner rather than later, it is easier to recognize when you have lost sight of your steps or original plan. Likewise, re-evaluation gives you the opportunity to alter your goal if something has changed.
5. Take a Step
Sometimes people get stuck in the talking or planning stage for an extended period of time and find that they just are not progressing.
It takes steps in order to get to any destination whether you are walking, driving, or flying. Don’t forget that taking the first step (no matter the size) is very critical to beginning that journey—even if it is scary.
For example, for clients who want guidance setting SMART goals, determining a mantra, creating healthy thoughts, or re-evaluating their plan, perhaps the first step is to call or email about counseling services. The next step is to get scheduled and then focus on showing up. All of these are steps toward your goals and get you closer to where you want to be.
If you are unsure where to start or how to start this process, reach out for counseling services. We are here to help!
To book our online counseling and coaching services visit: Nayaclinics.com/book-online
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