top of page

How to handle a breakup


What do you mean?

So. You’re going through a fresh break up. And you really don’t want to lose your partner. Every part of you wants to try and figure out how to get them back. You feel like you’ve tried everything, but nothing is working. She still wants to end the relationship.

He still isn’t returning your calls. Then, you have a brilliant idea. You’ll text her! You’ll say something so good, so genuine, SO tough that he’ll come running back to you.

You pull out your phone, (well, let’s be honest your phone was already out as it has been chained to your hand since the break up), and you tap out a little something like this:

hey. just wanted to say I hope ur happy.

U just lost someone who would’ve loved you 4ever. I’m over it so don’t even worry about me. Go do you. Let me know if you wanna be friends. Bye.

Look familiar?

Here’s the thing. That passive-aggressive approach really doesn’t get you want you want.

Even if for whatever reason that, oh-so-artfully worded, message triggers something in your partner that motivates some sort of reconciliation, the makeup process is going to be cloaked in negativity, fear, and flat out confusion.

Let’s look back at the message to see what you really accomplished: you lied, you were mean, you told someone to do the opposite of what you want them to do, and you asked for something really don’t want. You weren’t over him.

You didn’t want to be just friends.

And you definitely didn’t want her to “go do her,” which might involve meeting someone new, who isn’t you.

What did you mean? Maybe something like this:

Hi. I’ve been thinking about you and I miss you. I heard you when you said you wanted to end the relationship and I will respect that. I am still interested in working on this relationship. If you are, too, please let me know.

Why would this work better?

  1. It’s the truth. And it’s easy to understand since no part of the message is in congruent or contradictory.

  2. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. No matter what clever, underhanded message you send, none of it will be powerful or cheeky enough to force someone to want you back. This welcomes the person to make his own choice.

  3. You’re not mean. And being mean doesn’t make you look tougher, it makes you look like a jerk.

  4. You don’t want your partner to move on without you. You might say you’re over him or her to appear like a winner. To let them know they didn’t wound you. At the end of the day, what you really want is to be in the relationship, not to win a nonexistent game of who is more emotionally robotic.

  5. Attempting to manipulate your partner into loving you again is a pretty bad fresh start. Let’s say you get back together with your partner and the reconciliation spawns relationship 2.0. How did you and your partner get back together? “Oh, I threatened her. I said if she didn’t enter a relationship with me, she would never be loved by anyone better ever again. And then I said my goodbyes.” How romantic.

Ask yourself: what do you want? Once you decide, say what you mean, be clear, be direct, and be honest. The person you’re talking to will do what they want either way, since you have no control over their actions, feelings, and thoughts. So what do you have to lose?

No Time For Couples or relationship Counseling? Cost is holding you back?

Try our cutting edge Relationship Helper instead for a fraction of the price of counseling.


9 Comments


CQTS NWVB
CQTS NWVB
Dec 22, 2024

google 优化 seo技术+jingcheng-seo.com+秒收录;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune…

站群/ 站群

gamesimes gamesimes;

03topgame 03topgame

EPS Machine EPS Cutting…

EPS Machine EPS and…

EPP Machine EPP Shape…

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

EPS Machine EPS and…

betwin betwin;

777 777;

slots slots;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Like

Carlos Gucci
Carlos Gucci
Dec 17, 2024

Ta aplikacija je enostavna za uporabo in nudi odlično izkušnjo igranja, bodisi doma bodisi na poti. Po tem, ko sem izvedel promocijsko kodo, sem začel z odličnim bonusom, ki mi je omogočil daljše igranje. Najbolj mi je všeč, da je aplikacija zelo stabilna, brez zapletov in dolgotrajnih nalaganj. Priporočam jo vsem, ki si želijo varne in zabavne igre na srečo na telefonu.

Like

CQTS NWVB
CQTS NWVB
Dec 11, 2024

google seo google seo技术+飞机TG+cheng716051;

game game

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

456bet 456bet

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune Tiger…

03topgame 03topgame

EPS машины EPS машины;

seo seo;

EPS Machine EPS and EPP…

EPS Machine EPS and EPP…

EPS Machine EPS Cutting Machine;

Like

ENTE SECX
ENTE SECX
Dec 04, 2024

google 优化 seo技术+jingcheng-seo.com+秒收录;

谷歌seo优化 谷歌SEO优化+外链发布+权重提升;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune…

gamesimes gamesimes;

站群/ 站群

03topgame 03topgame

betwin betwin;

777 777;

slots slots;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Like

CQTS NWVB
CQTS NWVB
Dec 02, 2024

google seo google seo技术+飞机TG+cheng716051;

game game

game game

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

game game

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Fortune Tiger;

Fortune Tiger Slots Fortune Tiger…

03topgame 03topgame

EPS машины EPS машины;

EPS Machine EPS Cutting Machine;

EPS Machine EPS and EPP…

EPS Machine EPS and EPP…

EPS Machine EPS Cutting Machine;

Like
bottom of page